Beginning of my week

Well, I am feeling a little better from the shingles. I love the meds that they have for that. I have to admit though, that it is kinda disconcerting to know that I am at the pharmacy so much that the pharmacist knows me by name/face and what meds I am used to and what is new. She gave me the prednizone and said "you have taken these, you know what they are" then she gave me the anti viral and she is like.. this one is new.. so this is what you are going to see..   Ya.. at least I am not a pharm hopper to get the "good drugs" course.. with fibro I don't have to be. haha!
This week has been full of getting things done and ready for the reunion this weekend. I can't wait! I am so excited to have my family all around me!!! I have to admit though to feeling a little sad that my mom won't be here in body. She will for sure be here in spirit. I love that my Aunts want to be here so we can represent my mom. I know all my Aunts love their big sister and miss her every day. I can't imagine what it would be like. My mom was the oldest.. so for them to have her every day of their entire lives and then one day she is gone. As hard as it is to loose a mom, I don't even want to pretend to know what it is like from their side. I just only hope I am half the woman my mom was and wanted me to be. I hope all have a good time. I know it has been fun to put it all together.
I think I am going to have to get rid of my new little puppy. Our big dogs aren't handling her presence well. They aren't eating and Dahleen keeps throwing up. Can't make the dogs that already live here unhappy.. that isn't fair. She is a good puppy... we will find a good home for her. Wish it could have turned out differently.
We got our new school year of books.. the younger boys are so excited they have decided on their own to get started. I like the beginning of the year. It is the most fun. No struggle... everyone is having fun. What will be interesting is me... teaching Ethan French and Drivers Ed... Anyway, I am off to go clean and get some work done. Probably won't be updating till after the reunion.

This weekend

This weekend has been fun and terrible all at once. I will start with the fun. Hubby and I got to go to a comedy show on Saturday night. I got him tickets for his birthday. He LOVED it. I knew he would. It was fun to go do something different. It wasn't dinner and a movie. It was fun. We laughed really hard. Nice to stay out past 8 PM too. We are so old. haha
Saturday started off though, with me in an urgent care. I have had a rash for several days and it was getting worse and worse and more and more painful. I showed it to Erin and she said.. I am pretty sure that is shingles.. So I went to the UC to get it looked at and sure enough, it is shingles. NO FUN. I have not felt good AT ALL this weekend. I have felt run down and worn out. Last night my pain was so bad I had to take pain meds. The dr. at the UC said that some people with shingles don't get the rash they just come in with pain. I said I am glad I wasn't one of those people or I wouldn't have come in. I don't go to the doc for pain. Ever. It would be pointless. I did find it amusing yesterday morning since my dr. goes to my church.. when I told him that I have shingles and he says.. "who says?" haha obviously he wasn't happy with being side stepped. Although, I know he is happy that I went and got help. Now I just hope I didn't do something before I knew what it was that will spread it or make it last longer... like, using the same towel on my whole body.. or, scratching there then somewhere else.. those kinds of things. I know that I didn't pass it to anyone else.. I just hope that I don't get it again.
Yesterdays sermon was on "children obey your parents". It was very nice and timely because we have 40 people coming this weekend and my kids were happy and ready to help with cleaning. They are always happy to help, but I think the teaching helped. :) My hubby sent me to bed when we got home from church and he and the boys went to town. They got walls washed and baseboards washed and the tent cleaned out and new door knobs put on 3 doors..Then hubby did the dishes last night. Now all that is left is dusting and cleaning the windows. I have the worlds greatest family.
Thank you God for this weekend. Thank you for the rest that I needed. Thank you for my guys that are willing to hlep me and do things for me. Thank you for a nice clean house. Thank you that I am feeling a little better this morning. Thank you for the beginning of a new week. Thank you for a fun weekend with my hubby.

New baby in the Hammond house and....

First, I have to share that we have a new baby in the house!!! She is a 7 week old shepherd mix of some sort. I am still trying to come up with her name.. For now, she is "babygirl". We have had her for about 36 hours now. If I don't come up with a name soon, babygirl will be her name!!  The irresponsible people that owned her mother and so were in charge of finding homes for the babies, were very... careless at best with these babies. They were left outside and fed cat food instead of puppy food or baby formula after the mama was hit by a car and killed. She is paying the price right now. She is sick. We are working to get her healthy though and are enjoying her.
In other news... I have gotten through my "hell week" for this month and only took pain meds 1 night!! It has been almost a month since I have had to take them on a regular basis. I am so thrilled! I haven't been feeling great, but I haven't been medicated non stop either. I am working on getting my house cleaned up right now. Not just cleaning... but CLEANING. My family is coming for a family reunion and will be here a week from today! I am so so so so excited to have them all here, but it is going to be a little bit of work.. I need to wash the walls since I can't pain and I need to wash the curtains. We are getting the carpets cleaned tomorrow... *yes, right after getting a new puppy... yes I have a way to kennel her so she doesn't make a mess everywhere.*
Having my family coming has had my mom on my mind. It is her sisters and their families that are coming. I love them so much and am so thrilled to have them here... although it makes me miss her really bad. I want her to see how far my hubby has come and how great a provider he is. I want her to see my boys that I am so proud of and that are so big and handsome and great. I want her to see Gavin and how precious he is and Erin and how happy she is. I want her to meet my cousins daughters. My mom loved my cousins (all of them but these two specifically) as though they were also hers.. kinda like I am with Gavin. She would just be in love with their beautiful baby girls and with the man that God has given to one of them. She would be so proud of how big all of my cousins are and how far they have all come. She loved her family more than anything other than God Himself and was very proud of all of them. She will be missed next week, but not forgotten.
Thank you God for my new baby girl. Thank you for the fun that she is. Thank you for this week not being as bad as it could have been. Thank you for being able to get our carpets cleaned and get the house put together so it is ready for the family we love so much to come and visit. Thank you for my family. Thank you for Aunt Molly and Uncle Nigel and the girls. Thank you for Aunt Linda and Uncle Bill. Thank you for Aunt Peggy and Uncle Mark and their crew. Thank you for Aunt Debi and Uncle Heartly and their girls and sons in laws and babies. Thank you for my mom. Thank you for her life. Thank you for her example to all who knew her. Thank you for all the good and the bad. Thank you for the love and care from her. Thank you!!

31 years

31 years ago today, Mr. Richard Eugene Hammond and Mrs. LaRee Sharon Hammond welcomed their first child into the world. A beautiful, sweet baby boy. They went on to raise this boy in the fear and admonition of God and His Word. They taught him everything from God to academics. What they didn't know for the first 15 years of his life, was that God had created him not only to be their son, and a child of God, and a smart and handsome man, but also a husband and a father. God decided before the foundations of the world that He was going to create this man to be my husband and to be the father of my children.
We met when he was only 15 and I was only 18. What a blessing to have met my soul mate at such a young age! We haven't always honored God in our relationship, but God knew what He was doing. I hope that our relationship and how it has changed as we have grown in Him has brought Him glory. We have now been together for 15 years. Haven't always been easy years.. But to be able to say, 31 years ago God created this man to be with me. To love me and care for me. To encourage me and to comfort me. To be my lover and my best friend. God is good and I am so blessed. I love you my husband!!!  Thank you!! Thank you God!! Thank you for my husband!!! Thank you for creating him for me. Thank you for loving me so much that you wanted to give me a man like him. Thank you for all the years in the future that we can have!! Thank you!!

Sunday

Well.... Today sucked. I think I will have to take pain meds tonight for the first time in 3 weeks. I know the anti-d is fully out of my system now.. which further proves my belief that it was what was helping me. Hopefully hubby will let me get back on.. For now, I am just doing what I have to do. I got to celebrate the father of my children today... that was great. I got to make him his favorite dinner, and a really yummy dessert...We gave him a picture of what we are going to get him.. hahaha ya.. cheap I know.. But.. I did alot today. And I am paying for it. Also, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I am trying to be ok now. After loosing my mind on my hubby and him not seeing what I was talking about or agreeing with it.. I just said.. ok.. forget it.. my problem, I will get over it. So now I am trying to do that. I was on my feet for 5 hours straight cooking and cleaning.. and then I had to stop.. so I will finish cleaning tomorrow. Sigh.
The physical and the emotional are so closely linked.. for reasons I don't understand... For all I know, the pain I am in today physically, could be a direct result of my emotional upset of the last week or so.. We shall see. This is also the beginning of "hell week" (that is how I lovingly refer to the week before my period...) I was feeling so good that I am kind of disappointed to be not ok now, but I can't say I am surprised.
Tomorrow is another day. I will make sure it is better.
I am doing really good on my diet. God is so good, I am not craving sweets at all and that is my biggest crutch!!  I can't believe it. Although, I am trying to do the Atkins thing, so I have been craving a tortilla tonight. But I am not going to give it!!! I can do this!!!  I am down a total of 7 pounds so far. My first goal *which seems easy at this point...* is to loose 20 by Aug. 1. I only have 13 pounds to go and a month and a half left!!
I have 12 days till my family gets here and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!  I have missed them all so so much!!!  I love that my aunts are letting my sisters and I take this reunion year. It means alot to me and I only hope I can represent my mom well. I miss her alot. I can't even think about it right now or I will start crying again. I am such a baby. So, here is my "happy list" : Loosing weight... 12 more days to the fam! ... 48 more days till I leave to go see my friend that I love and miss so much!! Plus, I get to take the kids somewhere new and to see new things like the Grand Canyon...
Thank you God for this bad bad terrible day. Thank you for the things that I got done. Thank you for my husband that is the greatest man. Thank you that he forgives me when I am impossible. Thank you for the medication I have for the pain even though I wish I didn't have to take it. Thank you for tomorrow. Thank you that with You I can make it better than today. Thank you for my boys that want to help me all the time and that love to do whatever I need. Thank you for all my blessings even when I can't see them through my complaining. Thank you for loving me anyway!!!

Behind

Sorry I have gotten so behind. I am not doing a very good job of the daily thing. I get to the end of my day and all I can think of is the pillow upstairs!!!  This week has been decent. I wish I could say it has been good. My attitude just STINKS!! I can't ever just be happy. I have my list of things that I WANT and I just can't let it go. I mean, Things are GREAT! My body is still holding on.. I have had a couple hard days this week, but have still not taken any pain meds. I did take my sleep pill last night but only because I got a bunch of bug bites and I am allergic and the sleep med has benadryl in it. :D  Every time I turn around there is something else that I just want. I want paint for my walls.. I want a dishwasher. I want my washer and dryer fixed so I don't have to block them closed.. I want a vacuum that works and will keep working for more than 3 months.. I want.. I want I want!!! The biggest thing is.. I want some time with my husband!!! I miss him!! I feel like we haven't spent more than 5 minutes together in a month! Between him being out of town, and sick and the company we had for Erin's wedding, the only time we talk is in passing or when there is something (money) to talk about...
I am starting to feel a little back to my old manic-depressive self which tells me that the anti-d is out of my system for sure now. I go between so high and giddy and silly that I have every one around me in stitches and so deep in a hole that all I want to do is crawl in my bed and cry. I hate that feeling and I would give anything to be normal without meds.. Things that would bother me anyway, seem to bother me so much worse when I am in these modes... Things that shouldn't bother me at all, do... I just need to keep reminding myself that my emotions are over reacting and I just need to calm down. I am going to get up tomorrow and go to church then come home and make my hubby his special fathers day/birthday dinner and we are going to have a great time and I am going to get myself under control.
That is one thing that I have struggled with for years.. when it comes to our emotions.. how much is something we need to do to change and how much is change in us that we need God to make? I don't get it.. I know I need God's help in all that I do.. but I know I have responsibility in it too. I just don't know how/what to do. I want to do what is right for my family which is getting myself under control.. just don't know how. Maybe one of these days God will decide to just set me free of myself.
Thank you God for this week. Thank you for making it exactly what you want it to be. Thank you that it is behind me and over and tomorrow is a new day. Thank you for another opportunity to serve you. Thank you for salvation. Thank you for loving me when I was/am unlovable. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for my home and my family. Thank you for all the things you are teaching me every day through both of these things. Thank you for another week of no need for pain meds. Thank you for helping me loose 7 pounds. Thank you for helping me be who and what you want me to be. Thank you.

Tuesday

Today... was a Monday, on a Tuesday... I had a great morning. I had another day with no pain meds. That is two and a half weeks!!!  With the exception of an alieve on Sunday after I like totally did tons and tons on Saturday. That I will take!!  I got up this morning and took Ethan to school and then took Ez to the dr. where they found that his ear infection was caused by the rubber tip of an ear bud that he didn't know was still in his ear. Boys.... Anyway.. then we went to this fabulous new pizza place just a couple doors down from the dr. They have a game room for the big kids and a little play area with toys for the little kids. The food was great the people were nice the place was relaxing. It was wonderful. Then we went to pick up Ethan from class and dropped all the kids off at home. So then of course I am thinking that my day has just gotten alot less stressful. Not so much. Target was great. I had a 20$ gift card to use, and what I bought came to 20 exactly. That was cool. Then Walmart happened. I got there, got all the stuff I needed... reached in my purse for my bank card... and it was gone. Gone. It wasn't in my wallet which was stupid.. I should have put it in there, but I knew I was going to be using it again soon so I didn't bother... I don't know if someone took it out of my purse or if it fell out but it was gone. So needless to say I had to no get anything I had been planing on getting cause I had no money... I don't know if that was God's way of saying, nope.. you don't need it!! I don't know. So then, on the way home from there.... my drink spilled all over my van. Yup.. that was the end of the day. UGH! I came home and relaxed for a few minutes while the babies were sleeping. Then as soon as the babies are gone, I came to bed. I played some cards with my kids and just hid. Hubby was off work early enough to take and pick up Ethan! YAY! So, that was my Tuesday.. Tomorrow will be better! :)
Thank you God for this day. I know it happened just like you wanted it to. Thank you for being in control of my life and my day. Thank you for caring about every little thing that happens to me. Thank you for all the fun and great things that happened today. Thank you Thank you thank you!!!!