Sunday

Well.... Today sucked. I think I will have to take pain meds tonight for the first time in 3 weeks. I know the anti-d is fully out of my system now.. which further proves my belief that it was what was helping me. Hopefully hubby will let me get back on.. For now, I am just doing what I have to do. I got to celebrate the father of my children today... that was great. I got to make him his favorite dinner, and a really yummy dessert...We gave him a picture of what we are going to get him.. hahaha ya.. cheap I know.. But.. I did alot today. And I am paying for it. Also, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I am trying to be ok now. After loosing my mind on my hubby and him not seeing what I was talking about or agreeing with it.. I just said.. ok.. forget it.. my problem, I will get over it. So now I am trying to do that. I was on my feet for 5 hours straight cooking and cleaning.. and then I had to stop.. so I will finish cleaning tomorrow. Sigh.
The physical and the emotional are so closely linked.. for reasons I don't understand... For all I know, the pain I am in today physically, could be a direct result of my emotional upset of the last week or so.. We shall see. This is also the beginning of "hell week" (that is how I lovingly refer to the week before my period...) I was feeling so good that I am kind of disappointed to be not ok now, but I can't say I am surprised.
Tomorrow is another day. I will make sure it is better.
I am doing really good on my diet. God is so good, I am not craving sweets at all and that is my biggest crutch!!  I can't believe it. Although, I am trying to do the Atkins thing, so I have been craving a tortilla tonight. But I am not going to give it!!! I can do this!!!  I am down a total of 7 pounds so far. My first goal *which seems easy at this point...* is to loose 20 by Aug. 1. I only have 13 pounds to go and a month and a half left!!
I have 12 days till my family gets here and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!  I have missed them all so so much!!!  I love that my aunts are letting my sisters and I take this reunion year. It means alot to me and I only hope I can represent my mom well. I miss her alot. I can't even think about it right now or I will start crying again. I am such a baby. So, here is my "happy list" : Loosing weight... 12 more days to the fam! ... 48 more days till I leave to go see my friend that I love and miss so much!! Plus, I get to take the kids somewhere new and to see new things like the Grand Canyon...
Thank you God for this bad bad terrible day. Thank you for the things that I got done. Thank you for my husband that is the greatest man. Thank you that he forgives me when I am impossible. Thank you for the medication I have for the pain even though I wish I didn't have to take it. Thank you for tomorrow. Thank you that with You I can make it better than today. Thank you for my boys that want to help me all the time and that love to do whatever I need. Thank you for all my blessings even when I can't see them through my complaining. Thank you for loving me anyway!!!