Bad blogger

I am so bad at this!! I think one of the things that I struggle with more than anything is sticking with things that I start. I do really good to start.. and then, not so much. I think about it a lot.. but I just don't DO it. Sigh. Well, now I am doing it. Update on me... This has been a REALLY bad week. I have been in bed most of the week which has been extra hard because hubby has been out of town. I have been taking pain meds regularly throughout the day. I know what the problem is, it is the weather here. "Winter" here is a daily change.. sometimes hourly. The temperature can shift by as much as 40 degrees in a matter of a couple of hours and that just KILLS me. That and my hormones this week and being busy over Thanksgiving weekend just has me in the weeds. Unfortunately, I think I am in for the long haul for the winter. I don't see things improving anytime soon. This is really hard for me because being in pain and unable to function normally is SUPER frustrating. I am praying for wisdom on how to get through this time. When to stop.. when to push through.....I think the thing that I am the most thankful for in my life is my family. My husband and my kids are the most incredible people God has put on this earth. My boys will do anything for me, from cleaning the whole house including vacuuming MY room..To now that Ethan is driving he is willing to take me anywhere. Even to girls night last night. :D I know it is the example of their father that has their hearts where they are. My husband will work all day and still come home and take care of me. He ends up doing my job and his so often. I feel bad, but blessed. God is good!
Thank you God for my life. Thank you for the good times and the hard times. Thank you for my hubby getting home safely today. Thank you for my kids. Thank you for the amazing people that they are. Thank you for my husband and for the example of a good father/person that he is. Thank you for all your blessings.

Back

So, after being gone for several weeks, I am back to update. I was blessed to have 2 weeks with my little sis and her hubby and new family. I had the greatest time!!!  As usual, my body gave out the second I was home (nearly) and I ended up with a stomach flu. BLAH.
I have to brag on my boys for a minute though. My boys are so great. :D While I was gone they kept up with their school and chores, they did all they were supposed to do and then some. They even got the house spotlessly clean for me the day day before I came home. They got along well and there was only 1 major problem... Ezekiel cut his finger really badly. But, he is doing well and that was WHILE hubby was home. :) Ok.. I guess that is the update for now.
Thank you Lord for my boys. Thank you for their good behavior. Thank you for hubby and his willingness to let me leave. Thank you for the ability to go and be with my sister. Thank you for all your many blessings!

My week

I am happy. I have done well this week! I haven't had any of the crankies that I was worried about. I have had some emotional issues, but I don't think that is related to the meds, I think that just is because I was good ole plain upset! I feel a lot better pain wise. I actually got quite a bit done today. I even cleaned the carpets in my house! I feel so much better about how my house looks now! That is one of the most frustrating things for me about my condition is that I am a VERY clean person and to watch my house go downhill... I am blessed to have a hubby and children that will clean up for me, but it is better when I can do it myself. Better emotionally. Thank you for all the prayers! 
Thank you God for a good day! Thank you for the ability to take care of my house. Thank you for the boys to help me move furniture. Thank you for friends lending me the machine to get my carpet clean. Thank you for the medication to help me feel better enough to do these things. Thank you for friends for prayer!

Pray for guys

Well, I guess this post is to ask for you to pray not only for me over the next week, but for my guys as well. I just started a round of steroids. That is good and bad. The good, it should kill this never ending flair... The bad, it makes me feel sick... the ugly, one of the side effects (which from the comment hubby made, I think I get) is a bad case of the grumpies. Not only that, but I should start my cycle any day now.. so, I will have double the grumpies. I am hopeful that I can be spared from this for this weeks so my family doesn't feel the need to duck and cover. Any prayers you can send our way would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your support! :D
Thank you Lord for the blessing of medication. Thank you for the Dr's that have the knowledge to help me. Thank you for my family and their willingness to put up with me. Thank you for loving me!

To do list

To do today:
Clean bathroom
Go to store
School kids
Grade school
Make dinner
Vacuum
...............
Wow.... the list can go on and on. Over the years I have had to teach myself the different "to do" lists. There is my list of things I want to/need to do, then there is the list of things that ACTUALLY get done (which could have nothing to do with the list I was PLANNING on getting done) and I have learned over the years that that list of things that does get done, is God's "to do" list. We forget that God has our days planned. Down to the seconds..From what cleaning should I do today... to every breath that we take. I have learned that my personal to do list has changed as well. I am now not as concerned about getting the dishes done or the mopping done.. now my to do list has things on it like, get out of bed. Sit with the kids while they do school. Sometimes that turns into sit in the chair in the living room while they do school. Some days making dinner gets done.. Then I have to put things on my to do list that I never expected to have to list to get done.. like getting out of bed ( I know I already said that.. but who thinks that have to "to do" that?!!?!?) And, then I have to try to stay up until a certain time. The clock hits 3 in the afternoon and I want to fall back into bed and stay there till tomorrow or later.
I want to encourage all the moms out there when you are making your to do list for the day, pray while you are doing it. Ask God to show you what He has planned for your day. Then don't let your list become so important that you are upset if "all" you get done in a day is 1/3 of that. God has the most important things for you to do already mapped out. At the end of the day, you can thank God for ordering your day and helping you complete exactly what He had for you to do!!
Thank you Lord for ordering my life. Thank you for giving me your "to do" list every day. Thank you for giving me the strength to get done what you want me to do every day. Thank you for as little or as much as it feels like to me. Thank you for caring what I do in my day. Thank you for wanting the best for me. Thank you for loving me.

Back to normal

Well, our friends went home. We are praying and trying not to be overly hopeful, but hubby is hoping to help our friend get a job at Dell. That would be so amazing!! We haven't lived in the same town for 10 years... or well almost.. and it is TIME!!! We had the greatest time with them!!  I also had alot of pain this week. there were times that it was easy to ignore and just function. Then there were other times that I had to be down. At least I had my friend to visit with when I was down!! :D The greatest thing about the week was that everyone was happy and got along. The dogs.. (all 7 of them) were happy with each other. The kids.. (all 6 of them) were great together!! Very little interference from the grownups. The adults all had fun together. Hubby had to work which was hard because he and John didn't get as much time together. The most important thing this trip did was show my hubby just how much he really misses having a close friend. He has friends here but it isn't the same thing. Just like me. I have friends here, but it isn't Jeni. She has been with me through all the important things in my adult life and the freindship I have with her is not something you can come by easily. :-)
Thank you God for this time with our friends. Thank you for blessing the time with fun and relaxation. Thank you for all being relaxed and happy. Thank you for the thoughts of them moving close to us. Thank you for a good week. Thank you for every blessing.

blessings

Well, I figure if I can use this format to complain, I also need to use it to celebrate!!  Today is Friday! That means my wonderful, handsome, sweet, amazing, hubby will be home tomorrow!! Last night I have to sleep alone!! I am SO HAPPY!! I hate when he is gone!!  Second, we were blessed with the gift of borrowing a vacuum so my house looks clean!! :D  And on top of all of that, our best best friends are here!! They got here this morning from Florida and it is SO GREAT to be with them!!! We have been friends for 13 years. Fast friends and forever friends! Our kids have been close from baby hood and moms and dads and just the whole family. What a wonderful blessing to have them here. On top of that, God fully provided the money and transportation that got them here. He laid it on the heart of some friends of theirs at home to help them get here!!  I am in debited to them!!  This day has been great! And I know that the next 7 days will be too!!!  My pain level is pretty high today and I have been on meds, but I think I can take it with the distraction of my dear dear friends being here!!!
Thank you God for the blessing of friends!! Thank you for bringing them to us for this time!!  Thank you for bringing my hubby home to me! Thank you Thank you!!!!!

Today

I am trying to figure out how to title my entries.  I started with the days of the week.. which would work if I was good about posting every day. Then I try to put in other things.. and as I type, they pop up, meaning I have used that title already. Not like it matters I guess if I use the same title more than one time, but anyway...
Saturday, I dropped my hubby off at the airport. I won't see him again till this coming Saturday night. AAAAK! I HATE when he is out of town. Especially right now, cause I am in "hell week" and feel SUPER CRUMMY. AND we have our BEST BEST friends coming this weekend. Kids and I are going to be busy cleaning. Unfortunately, I don't have all the tools I need to get this job done very well. I am in such need of a REALLY GOOD FUNCTIONING vacuum. We have bought 2 since we moved here almost 4 years ago and they have both gone to vacuum heaven. I don't think it is because of how they are used (or that they are misused) because all they have been used for is *gasp* vacuuming! Anyway, I borrowed my sisters shampooer which I can't use till I have a vacuum that works. I vacuum my house every day. It has now been since Saturday (yup... hubby left and it didn't work) and I am loosing my MIND!!!  3 dogs.. 2 with LOTS of hair.. isn't good on a carpet. It needs cleaned BAD!!!  So, I guess if nothing else, by Thursday I will be BEGGING my neighbor to let me borrow hers. AGAIN.
This has been the frustration of my life of late. It seems like everything in this house is breaking. Dishwasher has been toast for several months.. vacuum, as already discussed, is dead. Washing machine (front loader) needs a new door so it buzzes through the whole wash cycle if we don't put lots of weight in front of it cause it thinks it is open. Dryer door pops open randomly during the dry cycle. DVD player has bit the dust. Radio doesn't work. Wow. I should stop now. I am just depressing myself. Ok, time to start thinking of the good things.
I have a good functioning van that the Lord saw fit to bless me with. I have a roof over my head and food in my mouth. I have the ability to wash my dishes by hand and I have a family to share meals with and make the dishes dirty. I have children and animals that make my life full and fun to mess up the carpets. I have clothes on my back to go in the washer and dryer. I don't have to wash clothes by hand and hang them to dry... I have a husband that loves me and works hard to provide for me. My body does work. Just uncomfortable (or downright painful, but who is counting right?)
Thank you God for the blessing of home and family. Thank you for the difficulties you have chosen to give to me. Help me to use them for your glory. Thank you for caring about my comfort. Thank you for my husband and children. Thank you for my house (even the parts that don't work) and thank you for friends that won't care if things aren't perfect.

Friday

Well, I am defiantly flaring..  I have pain from the base of my head down to my hip on the left side. Even after taking pain meds, it still feels like someone is stabbing me. There is no "comfortable" position. No moving my head this way or that to make it not hurt. I took a bath, I took a shower.. I took drugs. Now all I can do is pray that it passes quickly. Of course, if the past is any example, "quickly" could be weeks. I have been enjoying a bit of a reprieve. Not no pain exactly, but a lot less pain. I guess I have to take the hard with the good. I think that the thyroid meds could be helping some. I don't know though. I think I spend so much time looking for a "miracle drug" that I think everything helps for a while. Although, I was hoping that the thyroid meds would help me start to loose weight.. that maybe the gain was because my thyroid was off and that hasn't happened yet. I guess it is just all in Gods timing. The pain, the weight gain/loss. I am trying not to go into emotional overload. I feel like I am fighting depression back at the door right now. I pray that God will get me through this without the depression because that is a pit that can swallow me up. I think for now, I need to try to learn to focus on the "I am" instead of the "I wish I was". Why is that so hard to do. Why is it so hard to look at all the great things I have and just be thankful instead of being quicker to focus on the things I wish I had or I would like to happen. I am so so very blessed. I have the greatest hubby, kids, friends, and family that I could possibly have. Why isn't that enough?? I am so tired of being selfish. Ok.. list of things to pray for..
1. That my selfish heart will focus on the blessings I have
2. That I will get through this time however long it is without feeling sorry for myself.
3. That depression stays far far away from me!
4. That I can keep doing what I need to do on a daily basis, but also weigh what needs to be done with what I can do and make right choices about my priorities.
Thank you God for this Friday. Thank you for another day that I get to breathe, and love, and care for my family and serve you. Thank you for the job you provided my husband so we have the money to buy food and keep a house over our heads and clothes on our backs. Thank you for my boys that care so much for me they will do anything for me even when they don't want to. Thank you for my understanding hubby that does so much more than he should have to. Thank you that he loves me in spite of myself. Thank you for loving me in spite of myself. Thank you for choosing me before the beginning of time. Thank you for giving up your life on this Earth so I can be saved for eternity. Thank you for every challenge you put before me on a daily basis so I can learn to be patient and gracious and have a gentle and quiet spirit. Thank you for your patience with me in learning these things.

End of the day

Well, I am here at the end of my day. Seems that there is some sort of bug going around my house. I had a bad stomach yesterday, still have the back side of it.. Today, hubby and Ez start feeling crummy. They will probably be better tomorrow. For me, I think it is just starting. Tonight, my pain level is UP. Alot. I am really going back and forth with myself about if I want to take meds or not. I feel like I need to wait till I just can't take it anymore because they are narcotic medications. I know they can be addictive. Last thing I want is to be addicted to meds... prescription or not.. it isn't good. It has been a week or so since I have taken any, so I think I am ok. Just a worry I have. I am proud of myself cause I have kept up with grading for the kids this week. I also, made dinner tonight. YAY ME! I know I should be doing that every day. Half the time, I look at the clock and go.. wow, it is already 4:30 and I have no meat out or anything! I need to get better about that. I have so many things I need to get better about.
Tonight, I am just tired. I am tired of not feeling well. I am tired of the pain. I am tired of feeling like a bad wife, mom, teacher. I am trying to be what/who God wants me to be but am constantly feeling like there is no way I am doing as well as He wants me to. I am trying to figure out why he decided I need the extra difficulty of my health along with trying to take care of the household things that I am supposed to do. I am REALLY trying to find the joy in it. UGH.
Thank you God for getting me through this day, with most everything done. Thank you that I have kids and a hubby that are understanding. Thank you for the fact that no matter how bad I feel, it could be worse. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for every breath I take. Thank you for reminding me to be thankful.

Where did the time go?

I have been thinking about it lately, and realized that it has been a long long time since I have posted. I need to just do it at some point during the day instead of trying to do it at night before I go to bed!!
I guess instead of trying to play catch up for the last month, I will just start with where I am now. I would say, I am in the pits. I am tired no matter what I do... but have still had nights of no sleep. I am achy all over and then have points of serious pain also.. Thankfully, I have had a couple bursts of energy and my house is clean and laundry is done and so I can just rest and try to deal with the pain. I have alot on my mind today. Mostly thinking of others and the emotional pain they are going through. I have always preferred physical pain to emotional. That might sound strange, but it is true. I would rather be punched than called horrible names. I have had both in my life, and I really do prefer physical. I think it is because it seems easier to get over... I guess... I don't know... but just for me... just for today. Anytime you think of something in your body that hurts, think of someone you know that is hurting in their heart and soul. And pray for them. It really does help. That is my focus today.
Thank you God for giving me a focus for my day. Thank you for reminding me how truly blessed I am. Thank you for loving me!

Big changes

Hubby and I have made a decision this last week. We have decided and told the parents that I will not be keeping any kids other than my own on a regular basis. So, starting the beginning of Aug. I will not have full time extra kids. I am excited about that and I am also struggling. I know it is hard to find good, safe child care that is actually affordable. I am in the process of putting my pride aside and realizing that I am not the end all be all savior of everyone.. That is God. :) I am just a mom that has a family of my own to worry about and a health condition that I need to focus on getting under control.
All that being said... Things on the health side are far from under control. I took meds last night and still had such bad pain all night that it woke me up every time I moved. I hate nights like that. Today, I wish I could have stayed in bed. Since I can't, I am spending the day in my chair.. that is pretty much the next best thing. I am trying to get the energy to finish laundry and clean my house. I REALLY don't want my Aunt to see my house in the state it is in.. but, that just might have to happen. I have to also put my pride aside and say.. I can't do it sometimes, and when I can't, this is what you get!  Good thing my family loves me for me I think... :)
Thank you God for giving me the strength to know when I am done and to be able to say it. Thank you for giving me my husband to stand by my side and encourage me and speak up for me when I can't. Thank you for my family that loves me and is understanding even when I am not up to my best. Thank you for giving me the strength to do what I needed to do for the time that I have done it and thank you for this time with just my family. Thank you for your love and care for me.

blah

I guess that says it all. I have been stressed, and in pain, and tired, and feeling sick. I have something wrong with my stomach. I went to my dr. and he did what he thought would help.. but it hasn't. Now he is out of the country for 2 weeks. I might have to see someone else. I don't know if I can wait 2 weeks if it keeps up. My pain has been getting worse and worse. I don't know if it is because I have been doing too much or if it is because my body is just turning again. I went out today for a while just to get out of the house, and ended up with such a bad headache that I had to come home. That was disappointing. Tonight, I made brownies and my feet and legs hurt so bad that I can't hardly walk. I am sure they will feel better in the morning. I would love to still feel good. But at least I got it for the time that I did. I am trying to be thankful for the time of peace that I had and for all the good things that I have right now. I am so blessed. I have a wonderful husband. That loves me and takes care of me.. I have wonderful children that love me and take care of me. I have a nice home and way more than I need. I have to remember my blessings.
Thank you Lord for all my blessings. Thank you for the good and for the hard. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for my children. Thank you.

This week

So.. this week has been a long one. We started school. That has been GREAT! My boys enjoy having something to do to keep them busy for some of the day. They get bored and who can blame them. We also have 3 extra kids here in our day. That isn't bad.. just alot. No wonder my pain level has gone up. But I think God has used this time to show me where I am still lacking in my anger control. I have been BAD when it comes to blowing my top. I hate it. On the other side, I have been better about getting up and doing Bible study every morning. I have been hoping that it will help with that and some other issues in my day... but even if it doesn't, I know it is what I should be doing. I had to take pain meds yesterday morning.. that is the first time I have had to do that in a while and I was FEELING it.. I had a hard time functioning. But, I did make it through my day and I am feeling ok right now. Not great.. pain is still pretty high.. but I am not feeling the need to take meds right now.. which is good since I have to take Ethan to class this morning. He only has 3 more days of class I think... He is really enjoying his class though. I took him yesterday and got him all signed up and ready to retake the math part of the Compass test next Wed. He has to pass that to take Chemistry at ACC. Plus.. he will have to take a college math... and he has to pass it to take that too.
I have been really proud of my two older boys the last several weeks. Ezekiel has been stepping up to the plate and being very very helpful and getting done what he needs to do. Ethan is always happy to drop everything and do what I need him to. He is always there to help me. Asher isn't being bad or anything.. just not as grown up as his brothers at this point. I love when things are like they are now cause when I really need help... it is nice to have it.
Thank you God for this week. Thank you that I have been able to get stuff done. Thank you for my boys being willing and able to help where I need them to. Thank you for giving me your Word so I can learn about you. Thank you.

Really behind

Wow.. I have gotten really bad about my daily post. A lot has happened since the last post. Had our family reunion.. and I have 3 extra kids this month.. to mention just the big ones!
Physically, I have been ok... Ya.. gone is the great. Ok has set in. I got shingles the week before family got here. That was fun.. :S  I couldn't believe when I was told thats what it was. Of course, people were saying.. "stress causes shingles" What did I have to be stressed about?? Course, the funny thing is.. I didn't FEEL stressed.. Guess my body was reacting to stuff I wasn't really FEELING. Where my rash was has been pretty miserable. Of course, I don't know of a FUN place to get a shingles rash.. The Dr. told me that alot of times people don't even get the rash.. they just find out that they have shingles because of the pain. I told her I was glad that wasn't the case with me, because in general, I don't go to the dr. for pain so if I hadn't gotten the rash, I may have never known what it was. It is mostly cleared up now which is good. But the rest of my body is going down hill. I ended up taking a muscle relaxer last night because I have such bad pain in my stomach. I don't know if it is fibro related or if there is something else going on. That is what is so frustrating to have pain.. and not know if it "matters".  I am actually going to the Dr. today for my stomach cause there are lots of symptoms involved. Prayerfully, he will look at the symptoms not just say.. pain = fibro. I trust my Dr. .... Mostly. He is a good and Godly man and I would like to take this opportunity to ask for prayers for him through the end of this month. His name is Tom Bohmfalk and he is part of a missions group that goes to Mexico every summer to treat bodies and heart.
Other important thing to talk about... Yesterday, was our anniversary. 13 years! I am so blessed!! He took me out to a fancy dinner and to stay over night in a hotel. It was FABULOUS! Then yesterday we took the kids out for lunch and a movie. I love celebrations that last for days!


Thank you Lord for this time. Thank you for my family. Thank you for friends. Thank you for my husband and for 13 FANTASTIC years together!!! Thank you for giving me a long time with very little pain and thank you for sustaining me through the hard times. Thank you for patience with me. Thank you for dying for me and for loving me!

Beginning of my week

Well, I am feeling a little better from the shingles. I love the meds that they have for that. I have to admit though, that it is kinda disconcerting to know that I am at the pharmacy so much that the pharmacist knows me by name/face and what meds I am used to and what is new. She gave me the prednizone and said "you have taken these, you know what they are" then she gave me the anti viral and she is like.. this one is new.. so this is what you are going to see..   Ya.. at least I am not a pharm hopper to get the "good drugs" course.. with fibro I don't have to be. haha!
This week has been full of getting things done and ready for the reunion this weekend. I can't wait! I am so excited to have my family all around me!!! I have to admit though to feeling a little sad that my mom won't be here in body. She will for sure be here in spirit. I love that my Aunts want to be here so we can represent my mom. I know all my Aunts love their big sister and miss her every day. I can't imagine what it would be like. My mom was the oldest.. so for them to have her every day of their entire lives and then one day she is gone. As hard as it is to loose a mom, I don't even want to pretend to know what it is like from their side. I just only hope I am half the woman my mom was and wanted me to be. I hope all have a good time. I know it has been fun to put it all together.
I think I am going to have to get rid of my new little puppy. Our big dogs aren't handling her presence well. They aren't eating and Dahleen keeps throwing up. Can't make the dogs that already live here unhappy.. that isn't fair. She is a good puppy... we will find a good home for her. Wish it could have turned out differently.
We got our new school year of books.. the younger boys are so excited they have decided on their own to get started. I like the beginning of the year. It is the most fun. No struggle... everyone is having fun. What will be interesting is me... teaching Ethan French and Drivers Ed... Anyway, I am off to go clean and get some work done. Probably won't be updating till after the reunion.

This weekend

This weekend has been fun and terrible all at once. I will start with the fun. Hubby and I got to go to a comedy show on Saturday night. I got him tickets for his birthday. He LOVED it. I knew he would. It was fun to go do something different. It wasn't dinner and a movie. It was fun. We laughed really hard. Nice to stay out past 8 PM too. We are so old. haha
Saturday started off though, with me in an urgent care. I have had a rash for several days and it was getting worse and worse and more and more painful. I showed it to Erin and she said.. I am pretty sure that is shingles.. So I went to the UC to get it looked at and sure enough, it is shingles. NO FUN. I have not felt good AT ALL this weekend. I have felt run down and worn out. Last night my pain was so bad I had to take pain meds. The dr. at the UC said that some people with shingles don't get the rash they just come in with pain. I said I am glad I wasn't one of those people or I wouldn't have come in. I don't go to the doc for pain. Ever. It would be pointless. I did find it amusing yesterday morning since my dr. goes to my church.. when I told him that I have shingles and he says.. "who says?" haha obviously he wasn't happy with being side stepped. Although, I know he is happy that I went and got help. Now I just hope I didn't do something before I knew what it was that will spread it or make it last longer... like, using the same towel on my whole body.. or, scratching there then somewhere else.. those kinds of things. I know that I didn't pass it to anyone else.. I just hope that I don't get it again.
Yesterdays sermon was on "children obey your parents". It was very nice and timely because we have 40 people coming this weekend and my kids were happy and ready to help with cleaning. They are always happy to help, but I think the teaching helped. :) My hubby sent me to bed when we got home from church and he and the boys went to town. They got walls washed and baseboards washed and the tent cleaned out and new door knobs put on 3 doors..Then hubby did the dishes last night. Now all that is left is dusting and cleaning the windows. I have the worlds greatest family.
Thank you God for this weekend. Thank you for the rest that I needed. Thank you for my guys that are willing to hlep me and do things for me. Thank you for a nice clean house. Thank you that I am feeling a little better this morning. Thank you for the beginning of a new week. Thank you for a fun weekend with my hubby.

New baby in the Hammond house and....

First, I have to share that we have a new baby in the house!!! She is a 7 week old shepherd mix of some sort. I am still trying to come up with her name.. For now, she is "babygirl". We have had her for about 36 hours now. If I don't come up with a name soon, babygirl will be her name!!  The irresponsible people that owned her mother and so were in charge of finding homes for the babies, were very... careless at best with these babies. They were left outside and fed cat food instead of puppy food or baby formula after the mama was hit by a car and killed. She is paying the price right now. She is sick. We are working to get her healthy though and are enjoying her.
In other news... I have gotten through my "hell week" for this month and only took pain meds 1 night!! It has been almost a month since I have had to take them on a regular basis. I am so thrilled! I haven't been feeling great, but I haven't been medicated non stop either. I am working on getting my house cleaned up right now. Not just cleaning... but CLEANING. My family is coming for a family reunion and will be here a week from today! I am so so so so excited to have them all here, but it is going to be a little bit of work.. I need to wash the walls since I can't pain and I need to wash the curtains. We are getting the carpets cleaned tomorrow... *yes, right after getting a new puppy... yes I have a way to kennel her so she doesn't make a mess everywhere.*
Having my family coming has had my mom on my mind. It is her sisters and their families that are coming. I love them so much and am so thrilled to have them here... although it makes me miss her really bad. I want her to see how far my hubby has come and how great a provider he is. I want her to see my boys that I am so proud of and that are so big and handsome and great. I want her to see Gavin and how precious he is and Erin and how happy she is. I want her to meet my cousins daughters. My mom loved my cousins (all of them but these two specifically) as though they were also hers.. kinda like I am with Gavin. She would just be in love with their beautiful baby girls and with the man that God has given to one of them. She would be so proud of how big all of my cousins are and how far they have all come. She loved her family more than anything other than God Himself and was very proud of all of them. She will be missed next week, but not forgotten.
Thank you God for my new baby girl. Thank you for the fun that she is. Thank you for this week not being as bad as it could have been. Thank you for being able to get our carpets cleaned and get the house put together so it is ready for the family we love so much to come and visit. Thank you for my family. Thank you for Aunt Molly and Uncle Nigel and the girls. Thank you for Aunt Linda and Uncle Bill. Thank you for Aunt Peggy and Uncle Mark and their crew. Thank you for Aunt Debi and Uncle Heartly and their girls and sons in laws and babies. Thank you for my mom. Thank you for her life. Thank you for her example to all who knew her. Thank you for all the good and the bad. Thank you for the love and care from her. Thank you!!

31 years

31 years ago today, Mr. Richard Eugene Hammond and Mrs. LaRee Sharon Hammond welcomed their first child into the world. A beautiful, sweet baby boy. They went on to raise this boy in the fear and admonition of God and His Word. They taught him everything from God to academics. What they didn't know for the first 15 years of his life, was that God had created him not only to be their son, and a child of God, and a smart and handsome man, but also a husband and a father. God decided before the foundations of the world that He was going to create this man to be my husband and to be the father of my children.
We met when he was only 15 and I was only 18. What a blessing to have met my soul mate at such a young age! We haven't always honored God in our relationship, but God knew what He was doing. I hope that our relationship and how it has changed as we have grown in Him has brought Him glory. We have now been together for 15 years. Haven't always been easy years.. But to be able to say, 31 years ago God created this man to be with me. To love me and care for me. To encourage me and to comfort me. To be my lover and my best friend. God is good and I am so blessed. I love you my husband!!!  Thank you!! Thank you God!! Thank you for my husband!!! Thank you for creating him for me. Thank you for loving me so much that you wanted to give me a man like him. Thank you for all the years in the future that we can have!! Thank you!!

Sunday

Well.... Today sucked. I think I will have to take pain meds tonight for the first time in 3 weeks. I know the anti-d is fully out of my system now.. which further proves my belief that it was what was helping me. Hopefully hubby will let me get back on.. For now, I am just doing what I have to do. I got to celebrate the father of my children today... that was great. I got to make him his favorite dinner, and a really yummy dessert...We gave him a picture of what we are going to get him.. hahaha ya.. cheap I know.. But.. I did alot today. And I am paying for it. Also, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I am trying to be ok now. After loosing my mind on my hubby and him not seeing what I was talking about or agreeing with it.. I just said.. ok.. forget it.. my problem, I will get over it. So now I am trying to do that. I was on my feet for 5 hours straight cooking and cleaning.. and then I had to stop.. so I will finish cleaning tomorrow. Sigh.
The physical and the emotional are so closely linked.. for reasons I don't understand... For all I know, the pain I am in today physically, could be a direct result of my emotional upset of the last week or so.. We shall see. This is also the beginning of "hell week" (that is how I lovingly refer to the week before my period...) I was feeling so good that I am kind of disappointed to be not ok now, but I can't say I am surprised.
Tomorrow is another day. I will make sure it is better.
I am doing really good on my diet. God is so good, I am not craving sweets at all and that is my biggest crutch!!  I can't believe it. Although, I am trying to do the Atkins thing, so I have been craving a tortilla tonight. But I am not going to give it!!! I can do this!!!  I am down a total of 7 pounds so far. My first goal *which seems easy at this point...* is to loose 20 by Aug. 1. I only have 13 pounds to go and a month and a half left!!
I have 12 days till my family gets here and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!  I have missed them all so so much!!!  I love that my aunts are letting my sisters and I take this reunion year. It means alot to me and I only hope I can represent my mom well. I miss her alot. I can't even think about it right now or I will start crying again. I am such a baby. So, here is my "happy list" : Loosing weight... 12 more days to the fam! ... 48 more days till I leave to go see my friend that I love and miss so much!! Plus, I get to take the kids somewhere new and to see new things like the Grand Canyon...
Thank you God for this bad bad terrible day. Thank you for the things that I got done. Thank you for my husband that is the greatest man. Thank you that he forgives me when I am impossible. Thank you for the medication I have for the pain even though I wish I didn't have to take it. Thank you for tomorrow. Thank you that with You I can make it better than today. Thank you for my boys that want to help me all the time and that love to do whatever I need. Thank you for all my blessings even when I can't see them through my complaining. Thank you for loving me anyway!!!

Behind

Sorry I have gotten so behind. I am not doing a very good job of the daily thing. I get to the end of my day and all I can think of is the pillow upstairs!!!  This week has been decent. I wish I could say it has been good. My attitude just STINKS!! I can't ever just be happy. I have my list of things that I WANT and I just can't let it go. I mean, Things are GREAT! My body is still holding on.. I have had a couple hard days this week, but have still not taken any pain meds. I did take my sleep pill last night but only because I got a bunch of bug bites and I am allergic and the sleep med has benadryl in it. :D  Every time I turn around there is something else that I just want. I want paint for my walls.. I want a dishwasher. I want my washer and dryer fixed so I don't have to block them closed.. I want a vacuum that works and will keep working for more than 3 months.. I want.. I want I want!!! The biggest thing is.. I want some time with my husband!!! I miss him!! I feel like we haven't spent more than 5 minutes together in a month! Between him being out of town, and sick and the company we had for Erin's wedding, the only time we talk is in passing or when there is something (money) to talk about...
I am starting to feel a little back to my old manic-depressive self which tells me that the anti-d is out of my system for sure now. I go between so high and giddy and silly that I have every one around me in stitches and so deep in a hole that all I want to do is crawl in my bed and cry. I hate that feeling and I would give anything to be normal without meds.. Things that would bother me anyway, seem to bother me so much worse when I am in these modes... Things that shouldn't bother me at all, do... I just need to keep reminding myself that my emotions are over reacting and I just need to calm down. I am going to get up tomorrow and go to church then come home and make my hubby his special fathers day/birthday dinner and we are going to have a great time and I am going to get myself under control.
That is one thing that I have struggled with for years.. when it comes to our emotions.. how much is something we need to do to change and how much is change in us that we need God to make? I don't get it.. I know I need God's help in all that I do.. but I know I have responsibility in it too. I just don't know how/what to do. I want to do what is right for my family which is getting myself under control.. just don't know how. Maybe one of these days God will decide to just set me free of myself.
Thank you God for this week. Thank you for making it exactly what you want it to be. Thank you that it is behind me and over and tomorrow is a new day. Thank you for another opportunity to serve you. Thank you for salvation. Thank you for loving me when I was/am unlovable. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for my home and my family. Thank you for all the things you are teaching me every day through both of these things. Thank you for another week of no need for pain meds. Thank you for helping me loose 7 pounds. Thank you for helping me be who and what you want me to be. Thank you.

Tuesday

Today... was a Monday, on a Tuesday... I had a great morning. I had another day with no pain meds. That is two and a half weeks!!!  With the exception of an alieve on Sunday after I like totally did tons and tons on Saturday. That I will take!!  I got up this morning and took Ethan to school and then took Ez to the dr. where they found that his ear infection was caused by the rubber tip of an ear bud that he didn't know was still in his ear. Boys.... Anyway.. then we went to this fabulous new pizza place just a couple doors down from the dr. They have a game room for the big kids and a little play area with toys for the little kids. The food was great the people were nice the place was relaxing. It was wonderful. Then we went to pick up Ethan from class and dropped all the kids off at home. So then of course I am thinking that my day has just gotten alot less stressful. Not so much. Target was great. I had a 20$ gift card to use, and what I bought came to 20 exactly. That was cool. Then Walmart happened. I got there, got all the stuff I needed... reached in my purse for my bank card... and it was gone. Gone. It wasn't in my wallet which was stupid.. I should have put it in there, but I knew I was going to be using it again soon so I didn't bother... I don't know if someone took it out of my purse or if it fell out but it was gone. So needless to say I had to no get anything I had been planing on getting cause I had no money... I don't know if that was God's way of saying, nope.. you don't need it!! I don't know. So then, on the way home from there.... my drink spilled all over my van. Yup.. that was the end of the day. UGH! I came home and relaxed for a few minutes while the babies were sleeping. Then as soon as the babies are gone, I came to bed. I played some cards with my kids and just hid. Hubby was off work early enough to take and pick up Ethan! YAY! So, that was my Tuesday.. Tomorrow will be better! :)
Thank you God for this day. I know it happened just like you wanted it to. Thank you for being in control of my life and my day. Thank you for caring about every little thing that happens to me. Thank you for all the fun and great things that happened today. Thank you Thank you thank you!!!!

Saturday/Sunday

I would say, this is what I can say has been one of the best days in a long time. I had my hubby back. That COULD say it all. However, God chose to bless me even more than just that! I went to Sams Club and Walmart. One of those alone, should put down for the rest of the day. BUT.... I also, went out to dinner with hubby on the motorcycle then came home and pulled weeds in my flower garden and then washed and bushed both the dogs. Then, I was STILL UPRIGHT!!! Today, I woke up a little sore. I am sorry.. did anyone hear that? A LITTLE SORE!!! I took some alieve today and that is IT!!!  I have now gone for 3 nights with NO SLEEP MEDS!! I am telling you, I don't know how or why God has decided to bless me with this break but I am so so excited that He has!!!  I will take it for as long as He wants to let me have it!!!  Today, we didn't go to church. We decided to have a family day. We started this morning taking the kids to a movie, then we came home and had lunch and then played 2 games as a family. Then hubby and I tried to get as much of the undercoat as we could off the dogs, between brushing them and hubby vacuuming them, they are pretty soft now! Not quite as much shedding either. Now, we are sitting in the living room with Erin and Josh and Gavin. Josh is grilling us steaks and I am making potatoes and salad to go with it. This weekend has been fabulous!
Thank you God for this weekend. Thank you that my hubby had a productive trip and that he is home! Thank you for a weekend full of getting things done and sleeping well!! Thank you for giving me a break from the pain that I have and I know will continue to endure. Thank you for your good and perfect will being worked in my life. Thank you for clean dogs and weeded gardens. Thank you for time with my family. Thank you for fun days and happy memories.

Thursday

Today hasn't been the greatest. There were great parts. I still don't have alot of pain. But I have been feeling sick. I don't know if I have a stomach flu or what but it isn't good. Dizzy all day... which was scary when I was driving Ethan to and from school. I hope I don't have anything contagious because I got to go meet my friends new baby today!!!  He is a doll!! I really enjoyed that!!! I am going to bed now... Just had to give my daily update.
Thank you God for Cole. Thank you for his life. Thank you for his mom and dad and the friends they are to me. Thank you for the understanding mommies of the babies I watch that will let me have tomorrow to rest and feel better. Thank you for all of the blessings you give me every day.

Wednesday

Well, I think the best thing I can say about today, is that it is over and I am one day closer to having the love of my life back!!! :D:D:D:D  Today wasn't really a bad day. It rained all day which was really nice! We need it really bad!!! Now I get to pull weeds in my flower garden tomorrow before all this rain makes it worse! :D I am still feeling pretty decent. My pain was worse today but that is probably because of the weather change. That always does it. I still haven't take pain meds though! I am really happy. It has been a long time since I have felt good for this long. I could get used to this!! I had my first day of really working at loosing weight. I think I did good! We will see after a week or so what the scale says though! I was really proud of myself today because I got dinner put together and in the oven before we left to take Ethan to class. Of course, then it took 2 hours to get home and it was a little... over done.. but, I think it tasted GREAT!! I made scalloped ham and potatoes.. who doesn't like a little crunchy ham and potato?! I should have said it was just right!! It is all gone so it couldn't have been that bad!!! I will do something easy tomorrow night so that I don't have to worry bout it over cooking :S
I am really starting to feel the pressure of needing to order school books for the kids. I know some people think we are insane for going year round but if I stop for several months... it will be hard to get me going again.. much less the kids!!! So, I am ready to get some books here and get going again. Give the kids something to do and keep me on track!!  Hopefully next week!! 
Thank you God for this Wednesday. Thank you that I was able to get stuff done and feed my kids. Thank you that I was able again to get my son to and from class safely. Thank you that it is only 2 more days till I get my wonderful hubby back!! Thank you that my boys are so good and so anxious to help me! Thank you that they have a right heart even if they don't always come across that way. Thank you for all that you have taught me through them. Thank you for their lives and that they are growing every day!!

Tuesday

Here we are again! Another Tuesday. I guess I could come up with more interesting titles. I will work on that. Anyway, I am still feeling pretty good! My pain is a little higher tonight, I am a little more achy. I don't know if it is because it has been raining off and on today, or if it is because of the change in med I have already had... Don't know. God does though.. and He is on it! :D I am still lonely. Missing my honey. I wish he wasn't gone. I don't like him being gone. I know it is important though. The kids have done FABULOUSLY. They have been helpful and well behaved and generally over all just good! A little grumpiness from Asher, but that was just this afternoon and if that is as bad as it gets, I will take it! Ethan is still really enjoying his classes. Although I think all the driving might also be part of my pain problem tonight. I have used 2 tanks of gas in the last 7 days! It is good though. He needs the time out, and it forces me to get dressed every day and get out of the house. Now, I need to go put the clean sheets on my bed so I can crawl between them!!
Thank you God for this Tuesday. Thank you for hearing from a friend that I miss! Thank you for Ethan having another good day at school! Thank you for the younger boys trying so hard to be good and helpful! Thank you for happy babies and relaxing. Thank you for boys that are willing to do all they can to help not only me but the people around us! Thank you for a short break from school. Thank you for getting ready for family to come!

Saturday

I am trying to not be discouraged. I have been feeling pretty good lately, haven't had pain meds in almost a week. I am happy about that. The thing that is discouraging, is that I was only on the Antidepressants, to counter act the side effects of the pain med.. so if I am not on the pain med, hubby wants me off the AD... which is fine. I am happy to do it.. I am just worried.. what if the AD is what is making it so I don't need the pain med?! I mean.. obvious answer, is I will get back on the AD as soon as it is obvious that is what was helping. I am just enjoying the whole.. not in so much pain thing and I really don't want to go backwards... Things aren't perfect of course... I am still in some pain.. but totally manageable. It has been a long time since I have felt this good.
I am hoping that this week I can get in gear and start getting the house ready for our family that comes the beginning of July. I am hoping to have the carpets cleaned and have some painting done... and I have less than 4 weeks to get it all done. 8>) easy right? Hubby leaves tomorrow for a week. That makes things easier and harder. Easier, cause I can do things in my time without worrying about him sleeping and getting home and all that. Harder, because I am all alone. I don't like being alone. I don't like dealing with the kids alone... It always seems that there are problems when I am on my own with them. Prayerfully, this time will be different. Now it is time for me to go to sleep and get ready to get up early to take my hubby to the airport.
Thank you God for this Saturday. Thank you for time with friends and with my family. Thank you for a whole week of feeling decent. Even when the weather changed. Thank you for my hubby that is so caring for me and loves me so much and just wants to take care of me!!! Thank you for his job, even when it takes him away from me for a short time. Thank you for the weekend!! 

Thursday

Well, I am happy to report that today was another decent day. I was still in pain.. and SO SO TIRED. But, Still have not taken pain meds. I am going to take a warm bath tonight. That helps. I am trying not to be hopeful. I always feel better the first couple weeks on a new med. So, even if this is a plasebo thing... I will take it! This week has been interesting since it is Ethan's first week of school. Ever. This is really new. I think I am dealing really well with it. Haven't cried once! :D My baby is growing up. He is really enjoying himself and that is a plus. But I have GOT to get the timing thing figured out. I have to get him to school by 6 and I have to wait to take him till the babies get picked up. So, I have 30 minutes to get him to the middle of downtown at rush hour. So, I think for next week, I am going to leave here earlier... and try to be home in time for the moms to pick up.. and just make Ethan wait at school for a bit. I think it is better to have him there too early and wait than to have him late every day. We shall see.
Thank you God for another day. Thank you for another good day. Thank you for no pain meds for most of the week. Thank you for the gift of the pain meds when I need them. Thank you for the blessing of college classes that are paid for. Thank you for the great head start for my boys on their future. Thank you for bedtime!!!

Wednesday

Well, after 3 days of no pain meds, I am feeling sick and in pain today. I know why. The weather has changed. It got really bad rainy and stormy. I don't know if it helps to know for sure the reason. I think I am going to try to not take meds tonight also. I think if it is the storm.. it should be past in the morning and I should be ok. So, I want to wait till tomorrow to medicate so if it is just the weather, I know it. :)  plus. I think I want to know if I am turning into a baby. Over medicating. Taking it when I don't really need to because I just want no pain all the time. But that isn't reality. Especially for me. So, here is to nothing. Hopefully I will get through the night and wake up feeling decent!
Thank you God, for 3 good days!! Thank you for a break. Thank you for sending this storm during this time so I know what is what. Thank you for loving me enough to give me the rest I need.  Thank you for the rain. Thank you for the storm that you have sent us. Thank you for caring about every living thing on this planet from the birds to the flowers to the people. Thank you for answers.

Tuesday once again

Wow. What a whirlwind of a weekend! All the family got into town safely. That was fabulous. We REALLY enjoyed having them all here!!!  Erin got married! :D YAY! I am so excited for her! The wedding went well. My attitude SUCKED. Not about the wedding. I was super excited about that. My attitude toward my hubby is what was not good at all. He was trying to be helpful. I know that is what he wanted to do. But he was VERY HIGH STRUNG!! I don't know why.. I don't know if I was having attitude with him that I didn't realize, or if he was just trying to do stuff and was just stressed about helping the right way.. I don't know.. but the only time all day that I felt any stress was when he was around. It was AWFUL! I hate having the feeling of WANTING him to leave. I never want him to leave. Ever. I don't like him to go to work, I don't like him to go to the store (without me) I don't like for him to go in his office sometimes!! I just want him with me!!!  I think I am used to being the one that gets worked up and he is the one that holds it together. I wonder if that is why I was so upset by his rushing. I had decided no matter what I was going to enjoy the day and I was trying to keep my sister happy and enjoying her day. My solution to that, was he had to leave the church and go to the reception to start getting the food all set up. That was good. He and his sister and brother and their families got it all done. I stayed at the church with Erin and Josh while they did pictures. Then, when we got to the reception, I told hubby that I wanted he and I to just sit and relax and enjoy the wedding. Since his siblings were willing to keep up with the people going through the buffet. That was SO WONDERFUL! So, he and I were able to sit and relax and visit. I did apologize to him that evening. I know I shouldn't have gotten as upset as I did. I know I shouldn't have lost it on him. I know that I should have tried to talk to him more than I did.. That was all my fault. He didn't know what his strain was doing to me. I could have talked to him earlier in the day and gotten it all taken care of. That was all me. I am glad that he was willing to forgive me and move on so we were able to enjoy the rest of our weekend.
I have been taking the thyroid meds for several days now. I don't think it has been long enough for it to be making any kind of difference yet. Because the Dr. gave me the wrong kind of pain meds, I am only taking them as needed instead of taking it every day... Well, I haven't taken any in 2 days. I KNOW! It is pretty great. I do take Excedrin PM at bedtime. But that is it. I am pretty tired today, but if that is my only complaint after 2 days with no pain meds, I will take it!!
Well, all the extra family has gone home now. Life is back to "normal". I am back to just "cleaning" my house. hehe and taking care of the kids. Ethan started his college classes today. He enjoyed it alot! He is really excited about them! That makes me happy!
Thank you God for all that you have done for us this week. Thank you for fun time with family. Thank you for the addition of a new dear brother to our family. Thank you that my family made their way home from our house. Thank you for deciding to give me some days of less pain. Thank you for letting me have a break. Help me to use this time wisely. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for the blessing that he is to me. THank you for his willingness and desire to help me with all the work that I have to do. Thank you that he loves and cares for me. Thank you that he is such a wonderful Godly husband and father. Thank you for giving him the patience to stick with me when I loose my mind. Thank you for your forgiveness and thank you for him deciding once again to forgive me. Thank you for my family.

Keeping up.

Well, I know I am not keeping up like I should be with how I am doing. I have wanted to, but I have been really not ok by the evenings. On Tuesday I really over did it cleaning the boys playroom. They had so much JUNK in there it took 3 1/2 hours to get it clean. Then I had to finish my day.. taking care of Gavin and baby Leyton... Making dinner for my kids.. so on and so on.. well, I could hardly breathe by the time I went to bed. Wed. I woke up still in a TON of pain. I had to get up and get things done. I got the rest of the enchilada's done. I got my wonderful uncle from the airport. We went to Walmart. Wow.. ya... I was NOT ok. One of the things that I really try hard to do, is not let people see how much pain I am in. When I am in so much pain that I can't handle it, I stay home and not around other people. Well, I have been in so much pain, my uncle is seeing it, and is really watching out for me. I love him and I really appreciate him but I don't want anyone feeling like their being here is CAUSING my pain. That isn't the case. It is just being up and doing too much.
This morning, I did get to sleep in YAYAYAYAYAY!!! So, I got up about 8:30 and started making breakfast. Praise the Lord, I felt good when I got up today!! No left over pain from yesterday. Such a needed blessing. I made blueberry pancakes, and chocolate chip pancakes and scrambled eggs and bacon and biscuits and gravy. I had it ALMOST done when our Abq. family got here. I was so happy with the timing of it. After breakfast, I washed all the dishes *so we would have some for another meal.* Then I got some time to sit and enjoy my family. Then I had to do all the different busy work that revolves around a wedding and company. Ended the day making wedding favors. That was funner than I thought it would be. How does that saying go? Many hands makes light work.. or something like that. having my 2 sisters in law and a friend and I all working together, made it so great! While we were doing that, the guys were watching Avatar. I had the horrible torture of laying in my bed with Gavin and Caleb (who is the son of a friend of Erin who is here for the wedding) to get Caleb to sleep. That was rough let me tell you!! hahaha So, now, I am drugged... and up 2 and 1/2 hours past my bedtime, and need to be done and go to bed. I will try to keep up better through the weekend!
Thank you God for this day! Thank you for my family being here with me. Thank you for my family period! :D Thank you for the blessing of the food that we have to share with our family while they are here. Thank you for friends that are as close as family that we love and appreciate! Thank you for my sister getting married. Thank you for the man you have brought into her life and ours. Thank you for all your many blessings today and all days!

Let it begin!

"What is beginning?" you might ask. Well, this is WEDDING WEEK!!! My hubby left for OKC yesterday, and I miss him. That is normal. Between today and Wed. I have to get my house SPOTLESS. That... not so normal. I woke up this morning.. feeling BLAH. You know when you get up one day, and you just don't feel... quite right... then the next day you are sick? That is how I felt today. Just ikk. Then, by late this afternoon the pain really started in. I had alot of going today, which is always hard on me. Being out and running from 11 this morning till 4 this afternoon, is WAY too much on a normal day. Today, I had to get home and get my bathroom and bedroom clean. Well, when you have a bathroom that is bigger than some kitchens and you have a bedroom that is the size of a good size living room, that is a BIG job. Especially when said rooms haven't been dusted or vacuumed in a loooooong while.. :D  I got it all done though!!!  Except the vacuuming. My oldest son Ethan, he offered to do it for me in the morning because he knows, I can barley stand right now. My pain is pretty well over the top. I am having pain so bad that it hurts to breath. I hope I am dehydrated cause I don't want to get up to potty!!! I took meds at bedtime and I am praying that they help and I am ok in the morning. I spent this morning in bed till I had to get up to go do the things we had to do. I need to be able to get up and do this week!!! 
Thank you Lord God for my day. Thank you for Loren and her willingness and excitement in helping my son be the best he can be on the essay part of the test. Thank you that we could take her out to show her a small bit of our thanks. Thank you for my boys. Thank you for who they are and who they will become as they continue to grow up. Thank you for Ezekiel. Thank you for the things in him that frustrate me so much! Thank you for his loving caring heart. Thank you for how he wants to do everything for everyone. Thank you that he is learning even if it isn't as fast as I wish. Thank you for your timing in all things! Thank you for whatever you are trying to teach me, or help me grow during this time. Thank you for loving me enough to put me through hard times so that I am a better mom, wife, daughter, and servant to you! Thank you for my house that I get to clean up. Thank you that it is big enough that I can have my family stay here comfortably! Thank you Lord, for loving me!

Sunday

First time in a while that I have actually written about a day... on that day!! YAY ME! Probably because I have my computer in my room and so I can write while I am in bed! Today was an ok day. Besides feeling like I was left out of something that I really wanted to be a part of, and then getting invited but feeling like it was a pitty invite... then getting over it and deciding to just have fun. Church was good! I was teasing hubby because the pastor taught today on husbands loving their wives, and hubby was on his way to OKC!!!  He made it there safe. I really miss him already. I hate when he leaves me, but... I understand that it is necessary sometimes. I am glad that he has a job that he loves and he can go and do something good for his job and have some "away" time and enjoy himself with co workers. I will just miss him alot. Like I always do! I got a little of the cleaning done today that I wanted to do.. A VERY LITTLE. Got my bathroom MOSTLY done before my body said.. ABSOLUTELY NO MORE!!!  Now I just have to finish my bedroom/bathroom and then I am good till Wed. morning when I have to take on the job I am dreading the MOST... cleaning Ez and Ashers rooms.  SCARY!!! Pain wise, I am doing ok. The pain meds that the Dr. called in for me isn't the 200 MG extended release that I have been taking daily. It is 50 MG pills that I can take 1-2 at a time every 4 hours. So I am just taking it as needed and I am happy to know that I really am not needing it as much as I was worried I would. I have been taking them only at night and have only taken 2 one night. That is a GOOD THING! I am still waiting on the Dr. to go talk to the nutritionist so he can give me the info from her and prescribe me some thyroid meds! I am really frustrated at how long it is taking. I understand his reasoning, that he is wanting to give me info from nutritionist and my meds all at the same time... but really... I could be 2 weeks into taking the thyroid meds!!!!  All in God's perfect timing. I have to keep reminding myself of that! All in God's timing! He knows all and knows when the best and perfect time for me to start a new med is. If He knows I need to wait till after the wedding, then praise Him!!  Praise Him either way! :D 
Thank you Lord that you not only know the best for us, but really CARE about the best for your children. Both best things and timing. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength and patience to wait on you and know that in your perfect time all things will be done! Thank you God for the church family we have here. Thank you Lord for the heart of our pastor and his family and for the beautiful daughter that you gave them who is graduating. Thank you Lord for the example of you that she is to the young girls in our fellowship. Thank you Lord for my sister and Josh and their future together. Thank you for all the family that is coming to be with her on her special day. Thank you for this house that we can fit all the people in to. Thank you God for bed time!!

Saturday

Had a pretty good day today. I was pretty lazy. I laid in bed late, didn't get dressed till dinner time. Just hung out with my hubby. He has to leave town tomorrow so I want to spend all the time I can with him. I got dressed at dinner time cause I had a date! Well, 3 of them actually. I love date night! Hubby was busy, so I made these guys come with me!

Hubby was at a bachelor party for our new almost brother in law. that is why he had to be replaced for date night. I am telling you, I can't think of better fill ins though! Now I just have to finish making a cake for church tomorrow and enchiladas for Erin's wedding next week. Then, finally... bed!!!  Then tomorrow, church. And kisses good bye to my baby!! :(

Thank you Lord for a good day. Thank you for time with my  boys. Thank you for a nice restful, peaceful day. Thank you for special time with hubby. Thank you for the things I need to take care of food needs for the next week. Thank you for Saturday!

End of my week

Well, I didn't do a good job with keeping up with my posts the end of this week. I went from a good day Wed, to an emotional mess of an end. Thursday was filled with disobedience, destruction, mess, placing blame. I could go on, but what would be the point. I went to bed feeling like a complete and utter failure as a mom. I sent my younger boys to bed with no dinner. I sent myself to bed early. I think Ethan is the only one that had it all together by the end of Thursday. You know it is a bad day when I call my husband at work and tell him he has to come home and discipline the boys because I don't even want to see them. I was tired emotionally and physically. I was completely beat down. I should have blogged that night because part of the point of this blog is for me to journal my feelings so I can see plainly the ways that I am sinning and the things I need to change. I am trying to be as honest as I can. I know that I really come off as a whiner, but I am really trying to see my wrong attitudes so I can work on them. One really wrong attitude is when I had to go to bed Thursday night constantly chanting.. I love my kids.. I love my kids... I love my kids. One thing that makes me more frustrated than anything else in the whole world is how everyone wants to pass off bad behavior of boys with the "boys will be boys" thing. I don't care if they are girls, or boys, or monkeys! There are right things and wrong things. Just because you give birth to a boy does NOT mean that you should just shrug your shoulders and say mess and mayhem will be my life now. There are rules and no matter what your child is, they have to be followed. Just like I WILL NOT let my kids use the "I am a teenager" excuse to get away with being mouthy, moody, bratty and awful, I will not let them be bad and destructive and awful just because they are boys!!!  I mean, does God give us an "out" to sin... "Thou shalt not... unless you are...." umm no, I don't think so. So why does society even within the Christian realm give those allowances?!  Boys are the greatest as far as I am concerned. They are caring and loving and dependable and helpful and strong and kind and strong and, lots of other things. But, there is a certain amount of  childhood foolishness that, boy or girl, we as parents are going to encounter. I just get so discouraged when it feels like I have been teaching this behavior for their entire lives, why after almost 12 years is it still having to be dealt with like this?!  Human nature. Sin nature. Selfishness. Laziness. Mine as much as theirs. I can't blame my boys when I get frustrated with them and their behavior. I know from watching through the years, when my discipline gets lack, their behavior goes down the toilette. When I decide that I am going to sit here and get mad at them instead of going up and laying down the law, I am "okaying" their bad behavior. So when it gets to the point of out of control, that is because I as a parent am being lazy. I am not loving them the best way that I can. The way that God wants us to love our children. I guess that pretty much sums up my Thursday and Friday. I know that God gives us all things in our lives for our betterment and for His glory. I just wish I was better with the challenges and the pain and the hardship of going through some of those things.
Thank you God for my boys. Thank you for giving me all three of them. Thank you for Ethan that has such a kind heart and a desire to help and care for people. Thank you for his care for me even though that sometimes causes an inappropriate anger and frustration with his brothers. Thank you for my husband that has taught my son to care for me in these ways. Thank you that he is willing to come home from work to help me when I get over the top frustrated with these precious people that you have entrusted to us. Thank you for all the things you teach me even when I am so stubborn in learning that it takes the hard road to get there. Thank you for a reasonably easy week physically so I was better able to emotionally deal. Thank you for loving me even when I don't deal well emotionally or other wise.
To God be the glory for ever and ever. Amen 

Wednesday

Well, I can truly say that today was a better day. FINALLY. Even though I didn't have the pain meds in me, my pain never got as bad as I thought it would. Which is SUCH GREAT NEWS to me!! I was really afraid of how bad I would feel today. I got to spend time with my older sister, which I don't always get to do. I got to go BACK to the mall and buy more clothes. I got 2 pair of capri's for the price of 1. OH how I LOVE coupons and sales!!! :D  The kids all behaved fairly well today. I got the first batch of enchiladas done today. So, that means only 9 more to go. I made 2 loaves of banana bread and several batches of these little small cookies. I got to take a nap. I feel like this was a good day and got alot done and got the rest I needed. 
Thank you God for a good day. Thank you that I got alot done today and thank you for my feeling good today. Thank you for my new pants. That seems like a little thing, but thank you. Thank you for the food that I got to make today, and thank you for the people that it will bless. Thank you for the kids behaving well today. Thank you that I got my meds back, that Tom was able to fix the problem. Thank you for my friends, and my family.

Tuesday

Well, today was another one for the books.Got my pain med refill denied... That doesn't work. So, I will have to ask the dr. why he denied them. Can anyone say "tired of this" ? As far as I am concerned, it can end now. I am tired of going to bed frustrated and in pain. I know I probably shouldn't, but I am in one of my spots where I am feeling kind of hopeless. I know our hope is in the Lord, and I know that he will see us though. I know that He has a plan for me with this. I just have trouble seeing it in times like this. I am not in a bad flair right now, that is a blessing.
I did get to go last night with Erin and her friend to get me a dress for Erin's wedding. That was fun. I did find something nice, and I got a little over 30$ off it. That is always nice. I decided I was not going to look at the price. I was just going to get the outfit I liked. Turns out, I got 10$ off each from a coupon, and I got 50% off one item cause of a sale they were having. I love getting new clothes. What girl doesn't right? :D
Funny for the day. My little Gavin told me "we are in a boat together!" I said, "Where are we going?" And he answered, "To the dollar theater!" I love cruisin' on over to the dollar theater with my nephew.
Thank you God, for this day. Thank you for Tom. Thank you that he loves and serves you. Thank you for bringing him into my life. Thank you for the medical knowledge you have given to him to use to help me. Thank you for this condition for whatever reason you have given it to me. Thank you for new clothes. Thank you for fun times with sisters.

Monday

I got up this morning hoping for a good day, but somehow knowing I was going to need my hubby. I begged and begged him to stay home, but he had too much to do, he didn't feel like he could. So off he went to work, and downhill my day went. Started out with my Dr. denying my request for pain meds. That isn't such a huge deal because they are the meds I just use for flairs so I guess I can deal without that. But, after close of business yesterday he still hadn't sent the prescription or denied my pain drugs that I have to take on a daily basis just to make it through. I hope that he is going to get it done today. I don't know why he wouldn't. But then, I don't know why he denied the other either. I am concerned about him denying my daily pain meds because that is all that keeps me going every day. I take it just to feel "normal". Then, he is supposed to be giving me thyroid meds. We have been super excited since he told me that he was "comfortable giving me a low dose thyroid med" but, that still hasn't happened. I asked him about it in an email and he ignored the question totally. That isn't a good sign if you ask me. I guess if I get denied for my daily pain med, I will have to make an appointment with him and then I will ask him about the other.
The other part of the day that was super hard.. Probably the worst part of all, is that grandma Hammond fell again and seriously broke her leg. She has to have surgery Tuesday to fix the break and replace her knee replacement. I don't really understand that part of it, but I know she is weak and not in the best condition to undergo surgery so, I am worried for her. I HATE not being there with her. I want to be there taking care of her, or helping grandpa or something. I don't like being so far away when stuff like this happens. I know they don't need me. Everyone but me and Shaphan are there, so it isn't like they have NO HELP. I just wish I was there. I am very prideful when it comes to that kind of thing. I know it isn't right and it isn't good. I just want to be there and in the middle of it all. I don't like not knowing what is going on!! The worst part is that I didn't find out from grandpa.. or even Rick. I didn't get a phone call. I didn't get a text.. I found out first through a friend because of her email that she got and then from my sister in law posting it on FB. That is such a slap in the face. I feel forgotten. I feel not needed. Shaphan and I both, neither one of us was told by a beloved family member that was trying to make sure we know what is going on with the family we love. It is very upsetting and I was crying a good part of the night because of it. My pain is pretty bad by bedtime because of the emotional stress of the day. I guess I should get on with the thanks part so I can stop thinking about myself and put things into the proper perspective.

Thank you Lord, for protecting grandma. Thank you for letting us have her for as long as we have. Thank you for Grandpa that has such a good heart and wants to make everyone happy and help everyone feel good and comfortable no matter what the situation. Thank you that my husband has a job. Thank you even on the days that I want him to be here with me, that he has a strong work ethic and knows where his priorities need to lie. Thank you for my dear friend that is willing to let me cry on her shoulder and help me feel better. Thank you for your hand being on when and how all things in my life happen. Thank you that nothing is going to happen that is out of your plan or your timing. Thank you for keeping me ever in your care.

Sunday

Sunday is over. YAY! I feel like getting through today was a big accomplishment. We had Erin and Josh's wedding shower today. I am so blessed to be able to do that. I love hosting parties and having people over. I think that my spiritual gift is hospitality and one of the most frustrating things for me with my "condition" is that I don't have the energy and ability to do it more often. I am always concerned about how it is going to go. Will I have enough food? *I always have too much* Will everyone have a good time? *I have never had anyone not come back* Will people get bored? *No one has told me if they do! hehe* And... Will my body make it through.. So far, I haven't ever escaped to my bed before everyone was gone. I will admit today I spent alot of time in my chair. I love my chair that my family got me!!!  Right now I am in my chair with my soft blanket on me finishing up my things to do for the night so I can go up to bed and be all done. My husband wouldn't let anyone else clean up. He insisted on doing it. I love that man!! For SO MANY reasons.. That is just one. :D
Tomorrow it is back to the "grind". I love my life. The only thing that I wish was different is I wish my hubby didn't have to leave every day to go to work.  I know he has to and I know he does it because he loves us so much. I know he would rather not have to go too. Other than that, my life is perfect. I am so blessed. I have no right to complain about the hard things. I deserve soooooo much worse that the perfection that I have!!!  My God is good.
Thank you God for all your many blessings. Thank you for the opportunity to bless my sister and brother in law in this way. Thank you for the good friends that came to join us in celebrating their marriage. Thank you for getting me through the day. Thank you for my husband and all he does for me all the time. Thank you for the way he has taught my boys to grow into men. Thank you for my boys that want to take care of me. Thank you for you.

Friday

I am so glad that it is finally Friday!!!  Last day of having the extra kids for the week. I love my little babies, but they are tiring sometimes. Littlest man has been grumpy cause he is trying to get teeth, and Gavin.. well, he is just 3. :) Still having some frustrating issues with Ez and it just makes me want to cry. I just don't get it. I don't know what to do I don't know where we go from here. I don't know how to get him to make better choices. I just don't know. At this point, I am just hoping that the next 5-6 years blow by and he can get on with adulthood and we can breath a sigh of relief. Don't get my wrong. I adore all my kids so so much. I am so thankful that God gave them to me. It is just that sometimes I am so tired and frustrated with trying to help him learn to grow up and learn to make good and right decisions. There are times I wish I could reach into his head and tweak it just enough to get him to control himself! It is hard when I am tired, and frustrated, and just need some peace, and then something is brought to my attention, which is good... I need to know what is going on. I just don't know what else to do. Friday was over all a good day. I got all my laundry done and folded and put away.. that is a HUGE accomplishment. Then I went shopping. I know us ladies are supposed to LOVE shopping... and sometimes I do. I love to go to the mall with my boys. I love to buy fun things... but grocery shopping, at the end of the day... isn't always the greatest for me. It was the perfect time to go though.. I didn't have to take the babies, but I could take Ethan to help me. I got right in to a line and was just the next person.. didn't have to wait forever in a long line. However, I am the person that no matter what will ALWAYS choose the wrong lane... So, the people in front of us were done when I got there... no food on the belt... standing at the cashier looked like they were paying. No one said anything to me as I proceeded to unload my cart. Then, about 10 minutes later, the lane next to us was completely open and those people were still standing there. I asked, how much longer are you going to be and all said we don't know... so Ethan and I switched to the next lane over... With 400$ worth of groceries at Sam's Club... that isn't an easy thing to do! And, of course, as soon as I started moving our stuff over, the manager came over and fixed whatever problem had us waiting all that time... Ah well, you win some.... you loose some. Then the boys all unloaded the van and helped me put the groceries all away. Ethan did the dishes for me last night so I could just go collapse. Good day. Glad it is over. Next is the weekend and time with my honey!! yay!!!!
Thank you God for this day! Thank you for my boys. Thank you for the blessing that they are to me 90% of the time. Thank you for the trials that they put me through so it can help me grow and learn and so I can try to help them grow and learn in You. Thank you for Your Word that shows us how to live and what to do and how to train and discipline. Thank you for my honey that loves me so much and helps me so much. Thank you for him enjoying to be with me and the boys. Thank you that he wants so much and such good things for us. Thank you for giving him the desire to work hard and do well for our family. Thank you for blessing him in his career. Thank you for the money we need to do the things we want to be able to do for my sister and her wedding. Thank you for the weekend!

Thursday

Playing catch up again! Sigh. What to say about Thursday. Well, I had a super frustrating day. Cranky babies.... Which isn't fun for anyone.. Then I have been sooo fed up with the shape my house is in, I went manic today. I had Ethan helping me. The younger boys went to the park with Erin and Josh so Ethan and I cleaned the whole downstairs including sweeping/moping/dusting... everything. I worked on my room some and laundry some.. but my body is SCREAMING at me! So, again, my bedroom has to wait. I made lasagna for dinner, then Asher and Ez ended up eating pizza at the park with Josh and Erin so, dinner is ready for Friday night just needs warmed up! That's a plus I guess!
I am getting ready to have a very busy summer. It starts this Sunday with Erin and Josh's wedding shower that I am blessed to get to throw them. Then less than 2 weeks later, family starts coming and then the wedding! Then Ethan starts his classes June 1. Then the kids and I go to Dallas for a week. Then 2 weeks after that, we get to have family reunion with my moms side of the family. They are all coming here which is FABULOUS!! First time since 1996 that all of our family *dad... Sisters... brothers in law.. kids... * will get to be at the reunion! We are really excited about that. Then, in August I am taking a trip to Arizona to spend time with my dear dear friend Heidi. Then we come back here and we are home for a while. shew! I am tired just thinking about it all! Ah well, here we go!
Thank you God for my day! Thank you for giving me the energy spurt that I needed to get the cleaning that so badly needed done, done. Thank you for my son Ethan that is willing, able, and happy to help me with the work I need to get done. Thank you for my sister being willing to take my younger 2 so I can get stuff done with out the extra "help". Thank you God for my younger boys. Thank you for the hearts and abilities you have given them, even if that doesn't include cleanliness. Thank you for my home that I have that I can clean and thank you for it being big enough that I have room to have parties and people over! Thank you for bringing Josh into our family and for us getting to celebrate him and Erin coming together in marriage! Thank you for creating marriage so we can be with our best friends, our other half, our soul mates. Forever. What a blessing. Thank you for the soul mate you created for me. Thank you for the love he has for me and that I have for him. Thank you for the example of a good, loving, Godly marriage that we can show our boys. thank you that Thursday is over and next up, Friday!

Wednesday

Today has been a long day. I started out so tired, I really wanted to just stay in bed. I was wanting to take a nap by 10 in the morning. I really need to clean my room though.. and wash laundry. And I didn't do any of it. I took the kids to the pool and then picked up Ethan and then took a shower and had to change into clothes that I didn't swim in. Then I took Asher to the dentist. Sat there for an hour while he got his teeth filled and one pulled. Then I came home to the 2 little ones and had to make dinner. In all this time, I didn't get to sit or rest once.. well, I did sit at the dentist... but who can relax and be comfy in those lobby chairs?! So, at 6:15 when the last little baby made his way home... I got my special diet dinner ready (cookie jar ice cream with chocolate syrup. what did you think it was?? Veggies?? HA!) Now, I am debating with myself. My neighbor wants me to go over there and watch a movie.. I want to. I really want to.. but, I also just want to go to bed. I don't know what I should do. I think I will go over there.. not cause I think I should... but because it is what I want to do. Prayerfully, I will be done with a movie at 9 and up in my beddy bed!!! :D 
Thank you God for Wednesday. Thank you that it is behind me and I only have 2 more days till the weekend and my honey are here!!!  Thank you God for moving a lady my age across the street so I have a peer who also stays home. Who understands the isolation that it is so easy to feel. Thank you for my boys that take such good care of me and care so much about me! Thank you for the pool near our house where I can take the kids for free. Thank you that I was able to make it through this day no matter what my pain level was like. I praise you this night and all nights.

Tuesday

Here we are, day 7. Today was interesting. First off, my son has registered for his first 2 classes of college. I can't believe I am that old. Ok... now to my day.....
I have been super tired all day. I am getting back to needing at least 1 nap a day. I really don't want to go back there. I am going to try to be up and doing stuff tomorrow. That will show if I am getting into another flair, or if i have just been not doing enough so my body is getting weak from it. I figure, if I get up and do stuff tomorrow, I will either get in pain, and know that I am starting a flair, or I will get some energy back. We will see tomorrow. I don't like doing these kinds of "tests" because I could CAUSE the pain that wouldn't have happened anyway.. but I have to do something and I am WAY behind on my house work. Hopefully tomorrow I will come back with good news of a good day and alot done without a huge set back.
Thank you God for this day. Thank you for my son getting into the classes that he wanted and feels that he is going to enjoy. Thank you for the fact that  I am not in a lot of pain right now. Thank you that I know a course of action to take to try to make myself perk up. Thank you for working your will in my life to make me a better mom, wife, friend and christian. Forgive me for the days I am frustrated or angry. Thank you for your patience with me and your loving kindness daily in my life through my husband and my kids and my pain. Thank you for choosing me to go through this for your purposes to be brought about in my life or the lives of others. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for loving me.

Monday

Well, I was going to do this last night so I could get caught back up instead of writing a day behind, but my computer wouldn't stay on. Kept turning itself off... Hubby figured out the problem, but at that point I was just ready to go to bed.
What can I say about Monday. It was a big day for my son. He got registered for his first college classes. That is more than just big because it is college... it is big because it is the first time he is going to go to school for school. I have taught him for all the rest of his school for his whole life. I had mixed feelings. I am happy for him. This is the beginning of his future.. But I was also nervous for him. Because I took him to the college and dropped him off to take this big test that was going to take up to 5 hours!! Well, believe it or not... that was the easy part of the day. My day Monday was emotional HELL. The counselor guy that we saw that was supposed to be advising Ethan on what classes he should take and how to get started, treated me like I was a lower class person. I have never felt more like I was being looked down on a judged as I did by that man. He was acting like we should already know the answers to the things we were asking him about. Then, the baby that I watch had a blow out poop. Not good timing. Not his fault of course... He is 6 months old, what is he supposed to do about it?? But, bad timing none the less. So I am running him out of the room to get him cleaned up and Ethan and the counselor continued talking. While I was going to the bathroom, all I could think of was.. I didn't bring an extra diaper. I know, how stupid can you get!!! So, I got him all cleaned up and washed up and used paper towels and made a diaper of sorts that was held on by me holding him. I went back into the room that Ethan was in and was cleaning the floor and I could tell that Ethan was totally embarrassed by me. It breaks my heart that a day that should have been all about him and this next phase in his life, started pointing a spotlight on his incompetent mom. Of course, the counselor that was already looking down on me saw no reason to see me as any better than he had previously thought. I was upset and frustrated, Ethan was embarrassed.. and we just needed to leave. But first, we had to see the admissions people. On the way there, the baby puked on me... Here we go again. Now I am pooped and puked and headed BACK to the bathroom with still no way to fix anything. On the way there God was good and provided me with a lady that had a baby.. and an extra diaper. So, we went back in the bathroom. Cleaned up from the throw up and put him in a diaper. Then I went in and waited for Ethan to do the admissions thing and we high tailed it out of there. I spent all afternoon and into the evening trying to figure out what I could have done differently and why I didn't think to bring a diaper or why did I try to "help" when he was talking to different people. I have to start getting used to my position in his life changing. He needs to do more for himself and I have to back off and let him. It isn't that I don't want to let him.. I just forget to let him. I have to get it in my brain that we are in a different place now. Of course, by the time I was done with the 2 little ones and they had gone home. And the 4 extra dogs I had all weekend had gone home. I was in pain, exhausted, and all done. I went in the kitchen, did the dishes and then went to bed. What a day.
Thank you Lord God for Monday. Thank you that I had an opportunity to grow, and learn through the struggles that I encountered. Thank you God that my son is growing in you and in knowledge and in stature. Thank you for the opportunity for him to start in college early so he can get a start in life early. Thank you for guiding us through all of our struggles in the day to day. Thank you for little babies and all the joy they bring. Thank you for happy smiles even during something frustrating. Thank you God for Mondays... and thank you for Mondays that end.

Sunday-Mothers day.

Happy mothers day!!!  I had a really great day!! I was in more pain, but I think I was able to keep it hidden for the most part. I just didn't want the family to worry about me. We went to church where the pastor taught on Ephesians 5:22 on Wives being submissive to their husbands. He swears that wasn't planed, but I am not so sure. :D I have been having a little bit of a struggle at our church lately, feeling like an outsider basically. That has been hard. I have also had some frustrations with the pastor, but hubby says that we need to just hang and pray so that is what we are doing. I would appreciate some prayer in this because I am sure that it is my problem, not any one elses.. It is still hard to deal with though.
My boys got me a new rocker recliner for mothers day! It is extra wide and super soft!  I am soooo comfy! It is nice to finally have somewhere to sit that doesn't hurt me that I can relax in at home, besides my bed. They also let me rest in the afternoon and they took me to IHop for dinner. Breakfast is my favorite meal to eat out.. and we all know that going to IHop for breakfast on a Sunday is going to mean a long wait anyway.. but with it being mothers day to boot.. NOT going to happen. I feel very loved and taken care of. I hope everyone else had a great mothers day too!!!!
Thank you God for choosing to make me a mother. Thank you for the boys you gave me. Thank you for my husband that loves me so much. Thank you for the example of love and care that he is for our boys. Thank you for the boys wanting to take care of me and spoil me!  Thank you for your care of us by give my hubby a good job  so that he can have the money to spoil me every once in a while. Thank you, God for all my friends that are also mothers. Thank you for the way they are training up their children and for the blessing the kids are to them. Thank you for your abundant blessings.

Saturday

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday. It was a super day!!! I felt great most of the day! Just a little tired and weak, but over all, that isn't bad at all!!  I got spoiled for the whole weekend! The boys and I went to a park for an end of year thing for the home school... "school" that Ethan took math at this year. That was nice. The kids got to play with friends and I sat and visited with a friend. It was WAY TOO COLD.. so we had to leave earlier than the kids wanted to, but the cold was getting painful! Then we came home and hubby took  the boys shopping for my mothers day gift and I got to just do whatever I wanted!! So, I did a puzzle for a while and then I laid down for a while. They got me rocker/recliner. I have wanted one for SO LONG!!! I am so comfy! It is GREAT!  Then hubby took me out to dinner at North by Northwest. That is probably my favorite restaurant here in Austin. My favorite thing there... They make a roasted garlic and goat cheese on a crustini bread thing.. OH MAN!!!  That has GOT to be the yummiest thing EVER!!! And the best part is, we both eat it so I don't have to worry about garlic breath kisses!! :D  SCORE!
I have been "doggie sitting" for 4 chihuahua's this weekend. That has been interesting I have had tiny dogs laying on my and following me. Right now, I have a tiny doggie sitting on my chest right in front of my face. It is fun I like these little doggies! Tiny enough to carry in my purse! I think I want one... hubby will not have that though! He will do JUST ABOUT anything for me! :D
Thank you God, for my fabulous day! Thank you for family that cares for me so much! Thank you for my husband that likes to do nice, fun things for me and that loves me enough to say no when he needs to. Thank you for friends that trust me with their doggies to care for them. Please show yourself to them so they can be blessed enough to live for you!!  Thank you for the beauty of our world that you created for us. Thank you for my boys that I can enjoy it with! Thank you!