Monday

Well, I was going to do this last night so I could get caught back up instead of writing a day behind, but my computer wouldn't stay on. Kept turning itself off... Hubby figured out the problem, but at that point I was just ready to go to bed.
What can I say about Monday. It was a big day for my son. He got registered for his first college classes. That is more than just big because it is college... it is big because it is the first time he is going to go to school for school. I have taught him for all the rest of his school for his whole life. I had mixed feelings. I am happy for him. This is the beginning of his future.. But I was also nervous for him. Because I took him to the college and dropped him off to take this big test that was going to take up to 5 hours!! Well, believe it or not... that was the easy part of the day. My day Monday was emotional HELL. The counselor guy that we saw that was supposed to be advising Ethan on what classes he should take and how to get started, treated me like I was a lower class person. I have never felt more like I was being looked down on a judged as I did by that man. He was acting like we should already know the answers to the things we were asking him about. Then, the baby that I watch had a blow out poop. Not good timing. Not his fault of course... He is 6 months old, what is he supposed to do about it?? But, bad timing none the less. So I am running him out of the room to get him cleaned up and Ethan and the counselor continued talking. While I was going to the bathroom, all I could think of was.. I didn't bring an extra diaper. I know, how stupid can you get!!! So, I got him all cleaned up and washed up and used paper towels and made a diaper of sorts that was held on by me holding him. I went back into the room that Ethan was in and was cleaning the floor and I could tell that Ethan was totally embarrassed by me. It breaks my heart that a day that should have been all about him and this next phase in his life, started pointing a spotlight on his incompetent mom. Of course, the counselor that was already looking down on me saw no reason to see me as any better than he had previously thought. I was upset and frustrated, Ethan was embarrassed.. and we just needed to leave. But first, we had to see the admissions people. On the way there, the baby puked on me... Here we go again. Now I am pooped and puked and headed BACK to the bathroom with still no way to fix anything. On the way there God was good and provided me with a lady that had a baby.. and an extra diaper. So, we went back in the bathroom. Cleaned up from the throw up and put him in a diaper. Then I went in and waited for Ethan to do the admissions thing and we high tailed it out of there. I spent all afternoon and into the evening trying to figure out what I could have done differently and why I didn't think to bring a diaper or why did I try to "help" when he was talking to different people. I have to start getting used to my position in his life changing. He needs to do more for himself and I have to back off and let him. It isn't that I don't want to let him.. I just forget to let him. I have to get it in my brain that we are in a different place now. Of course, by the time I was done with the 2 little ones and they had gone home. And the 4 extra dogs I had all weekend had gone home. I was in pain, exhausted, and all done. I went in the kitchen, did the dishes and then went to bed. What a day.
Thank you Lord God for Monday. Thank you that I had an opportunity to grow, and learn through the struggles that I encountered. Thank you God that my son is growing in you and in knowledge and in stature. Thank you for the opportunity for him to start in college early so he can get a start in life early. Thank you for guiding us through all of our struggles in the day to day. Thank you for little babies and all the joy they bring. Thank you for happy smiles even during something frustrating. Thank you God for Mondays... and thank you for Mondays that end.