Monday

I got up this morning hoping for a good day, but somehow knowing I was going to need my hubby. I begged and begged him to stay home, but he had too much to do, he didn't feel like he could. So off he went to work, and downhill my day went. Started out with my Dr. denying my request for pain meds. That isn't such a huge deal because they are the meds I just use for flairs so I guess I can deal without that. But, after close of business yesterday he still hadn't sent the prescription or denied my pain drugs that I have to take on a daily basis just to make it through. I hope that he is going to get it done today. I don't know why he wouldn't. But then, I don't know why he denied the other either. I am concerned about him denying my daily pain meds because that is all that keeps me going every day. I take it just to feel "normal". Then, he is supposed to be giving me thyroid meds. We have been super excited since he told me that he was "comfortable giving me a low dose thyroid med" but, that still hasn't happened. I asked him about it in an email and he ignored the question totally. That isn't a good sign if you ask me. I guess if I get denied for my daily pain med, I will have to make an appointment with him and then I will ask him about the other.
The other part of the day that was super hard.. Probably the worst part of all, is that grandma Hammond fell again and seriously broke her leg. She has to have surgery Tuesday to fix the break and replace her knee replacement. I don't really understand that part of it, but I know she is weak and not in the best condition to undergo surgery so, I am worried for her. I HATE not being there with her. I want to be there taking care of her, or helping grandpa or something. I don't like being so far away when stuff like this happens. I know they don't need me. Everyone but me and Shaphan are there, so it isn't like they have NO HELP. I just wish I was there. I am very prideful when it comes to that kind of thing. I know it isn't right and it isn't good. I just want to be there and in the middle of it all. I don't like not knowing what is going on!! The worst part is that I didn't find out from grandpa.. or even Rick. I didn't get a phone call. I didn't get a text.. I found out first through a friend because of her email that she got and then from my sister in law posting it on FB. That is such a slap in the face. I feel forgotten. I feel not needed. Shaphan and I both, neither one of us was told by a beloved family member that was trying to make sure we know what is going on with the family we love. It is very upsetting and I was crying a good part of the night because of it. My pain is pretty bad by bedtime because of the emotional stress of the day. I guess I should get on with the thanks part so I can stop thinking about myself and put things into the proper perspective.

Thank you Lord, for protecting grandma. Thank you for letting us have her for as long as we have. Thank you for Grandpa that has such a good heart and wants to make everyone happy and help everyone feel good and comfortable no matter what the situation. Thank you that my husband has a job. Thank you even on the days that I want him to be here with me, that he has a strong work ethic and knows where his priorities need to lie. Thank you for my dear friend that is willing to let me cry on her shoulder and help me feel better. Thank you for your hand being on when and how all things in my life happen. Thank you that nothing is going to happen that is out of your plan or your timing. Thank you for keeping me ever in your care.